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Excuses – Excuses – Excuses

Just call me slacker. LOL.

Feels like I have been away from this place forever. Doing a lot of things yet seeming like my days should not have gotten away from me the way that they have.

I kept myself busy for a good portion of October with ‘All Things Pink’. trust when I say there were a lot…

I had a couple of speaking opportunities as well as in the past 7 weeks working about 20 or so events for Susan G. Komen and participating in 3 walks… then my Pole Posse activities on the 3 day. Always a blast. Bubble wrap and censorship will never mean the same thing. Did this with Pam Zack and Donnaliscious Quinn (also known as 1 Hot Donna). SUPER HOT n’ SEXY!!!! LOL

Throw in there a week on Alabama to visit family and see the race at Talladega and a weekend in Miami and there you have it.

Excuses – Excuses – Excuses.

Some of you have asked me about the Warrior Women ‘Days of Triumph’ Calendar and I wish I had more solid information on that. But sadly it looks as if it is not at print for the 2012 calendar year. We *my calendar model sisters and I) are hoping they still do it as it is a great organization and obviously a good cause.

Looks like I am going to have to do more shopping for Christmas this was going to be one of those great gifts for many…. everyone needs a calender and what better way than to support a great cause. At least in my opinion.

I had such a great time walking with my Pink Sisters in October. It is inspiring to see so many people on board for the cause of breast cancer but at the same time I wonder why only October. I wish October was the only month of breast cancer but it is every day… every week… every month… Gets a little crazy keeping track of a large group at these or really any event with crowds and I ‘got in trouble’ (because it is obviously my fault that 10-12 women don’t all walk at the same pace and want to stop for the same things at the same time – absolutely ludicrous – I know) for this and other things mentioned in a prior post. Now I just laugh… It’s a long story but suffice it to say I have chosen not to drink the KOOL-AID. I will not live in what someone else decides I have done wrong… I chose to seek counsel from others (when I say others I mean at least 12 people – all ages and walks of life – some Christian and others not) and explained all that had been happening and the unanimous thought was this one person (primarily – but who gathers and feeds others her lies and her opinions) was jealous and trying to hurt me. I had Cancer removed from my body 3 years ago…. now I choose to remove Cancer from my life…. I also dislike it so much when people question my faith (or anyone’s faith) or throw out the ‘Karma is a bitch’ comment so flippantly. To me that is like saying every person with cancer, who has another disease, disfigured, scarred, limited capacity for a variety of reason or who is hurt in any way – deserved it… I don’t ascribe to this philosophy. We have all done wrong, we have all hurt others… sometimes knowingly and others not. Children don’t deserve cancer, people don’t deserve to lose loved ones, accidents happen and you cant be selective if you believe Karma is king then it should apply across the board not just when it is convenient or when you dislike someone or something. My thoughts – we can agree to disagree.

I have been thinking long and hard about where I go from here… what I can and want to do to directly help others dealing with cancer. I have decided to begin paring down some of the activity that keeps me busy (most of it for good cause) in an effort to have greater impact for others. I will be getting more involved with organizations that are tugging at my heart and I am considering a non-profit partnership with an amazing woman friend of mine. I need to put my passion into action in different ways. On a personal level it is not enough for me to have wonderful friends I would not otherwise have made because of my cancer, to go to lunch, have coffee with, walk or just visit online… I need to put my feet to the ground and go to someone in need, hold their hands, provide something that is needed even if that means I have to do without something to do it… I want to reach out and be the voice and love of God to those who need his love, comfort and compassion, As these things are solidified I will share the information.

Rich and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary with a trip I won to Miami for the last NASCAR race of the season. Rheem Racing, Richard Childress Racing, Kevin Harvick Inc and the Young Survival Coalition did a joint partnership contest called ‘Chasing the Cure’. I submitted a bit of my story and was selected by the above entities as one of 5 finalists and then it was a public vote. Thank you to all of you who voted for me as it was your assistance that helped me win this phase. I felt so lucky to have been chosen as one of the 5 finalists, because the other 4 women had amazing stories. We spent a whirlwind weekend really a day with the Rheem and KHI team yet felt like we had known them forever and they were some great friends we got to hang out and play with for the day. What made Rich and I happiest was that it seemed they truly had a good time and had the chance to let loose and have fun. I can’t wait to see these ladies again.

Shortly before this trip I went to see a new oncologist at the new MD Anderson Facility… long story short there are so many things that went wrong with the facility – their procedures and professionalism that I will not likely go back. But I did just receive word that the PET scan is clear – there is no sign of metastasis or cancer malignancy. This is wonderful news as it took 2 weeks to get this information (far too long in my book – because that was 2 weekends of wonder, worry, fear). I do however have an arthritic condition call costochondritis… which causes pain and inflammation in joints between ribs and spine. I guess the sad part of this is – I think I have gotten so used to discomfort and levels of pain that it doesn’t even really faze me but when something gets beyond my new normal pain/discomfort level then I really need to address it. This also makes me leery that I may not be able to recognize if something should start going bad until it has gotten to a level that is further advanced… does that make sense… well if yes then you understand if no I do not know how to explain it better.

Parting thoughts

“Putting a BMW nameplate on your car does not make your Dodge a BMW”

“I have a choice to drink the KOOL-AID and knowingly poison myself, leave it sit there to dissipate and go bad on its own or dump it out knowing there is something better to come”

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